Maybe making lists should be on this list. But they’re actually a good way to communicate. And that level of ironic self-reference has been done before so I won’t repeat it here. And there also won’t be any berating people for posting pics of their kids or their pets – it’s Facebook, why act surprised when people post things about their personal lives that have nothing to do with you? That’s what Facebook is for.
This is about things people do that aren’t about themselves. They’re not genuinely sharing something, they’re reposting some bullshit they’ve found online. And they need to stop. I should stress that the people who do this are not necessarily stupid, almost everyone on my friends list has done at least one of them. So this is an intervention. For pretty much everyone. Get your fucking act together.
In ascending order (more annoying to me as we go along) they are:
6: Which meaningless personality test are you?
These things go in waves. One of them tickles the fancy of a few people then dozens of increasingly vapid imitations pop up. Before you know it, people are eagerly posting “Guess which Golden Girls health issue I am?” These things are fucking stupid – don’t perpetuate them. Oh, and if you feel compelled to defend them, the answer is you are Blanche’s genital warts.
5: Posting “news” or images without verifying them
You’re on the internet for fuck’s sake. If someone posts something that outrages you, BEFORE YOU SHARE IT plug it in to a search engine. It takes barely any longer than mindlessly spreading the bullshit further. And you know what? If you don’t find multiple REPUTABLE news outlets confirming the story it’s probably bullshit. Finding it on partisan blogs is meaningless. It isn’t a conspiracy of the mainstream media – they’re the first to spread awful, sensationalist stories. If you can’t get objective backup it’s bullshit, pure and simple.
4: Not posting links to the source/original creator
There’s been a surge in the last year of third party sites that scrape someone else’s content and repost it without adding anything meaningful of their own. You know what you do if you see one of these and you like the original content they’re using? YOU POINT TO THE ORIGINAL FUCKING CONTENT! It isn’t hard – look at this example of some piece of shit loser site appropriating someone’s YouTube video:
By simply clicking on the link to show the video on YouTube YOU CAN LINK DIRECTLY TO THE PERSON WHO CREATED IT! Seriously, one more fucking click and you can give credit to the person who actually created it and not the worthless leech site that creates NOTHING of value. It isn’t difficult.
3. You shared a stupid linkbait teaser headline – you won’t believe what happens next!
What will happen next is I will cave your fucking skull in. Seriously, I despise this obnoxious trend of using headlines that don’t tell you what the fucking story is. If you don’t trust your content enough to use a descriptive headline then your content is shit or you think your audience is shit or more likely, you are shit. Every time you share one of these idiotic “teaser” description you encourage the fuckwits to keep doing it. It’s a stupid fashion and like all stupid fashions it will die out but it will be gone SOONER if you stop encouraging them.
2. Linking to sites/pages that force you to register/follow/like them
These people are worse than Hitler. There, I said it. People didn’t stand up to Hitler soon enough and bad things happened. If you link to people who force a viewer to do something before they can view the content you are rewarding someone who is worse than Hitler. Which makes you far worse than Hitler. I hope you’re ashamed now.
1. 99% of you won’t have the guts to share this post
This is the WORST! Every time I think this fucked trend has died some fucking idiot does it again and I want to punch my screen when I see it! And I don’t punch my screen because that would be stupid. So I save up that frustration so when I meet someone in person who has done this I can punch them. Hard. Repeatedly. In the head. With a bus. These posts are always about some “worthy” cause which isn’t a bad thing in itself but they are always worded in this condescending way that suggests the poster is better than everyone who doesn’t feel as strongly as them. It’s made worse by the fact these are rarely original, they’re another bit of copypasta which makes me doubly sick because if you repost these you’re worse than a condescending prick, you’re an unoriginal condescending prick. And to top it all off there’s this stupid “99% of people won’t have the guts to repost this” bullshit. What is this, primary school? You’ve got to double dog dare me to do something? Even when these are done for a cause I support, they end up making me hate the poster and everyone involved with the cause.
Almost everyone I know has been guilty of at least one of these offences which will make the list contentious as most honest people will see themselves here. 99% of people won’t have the guts to admit their shortcomings and share this post – will you?
6 responses to “6 Things You Need to Stop Doing on Facebook”
I wouldn’t have minded being told I was Blanche’s genital warts. That’s better than finding out I’m Dorothy’s hot flash. Oh, and I couldn’t agree more with #1 especially.
That reminds me – I’ve been meaning to go take the “Which Condescending Prick Meme Are You?” quiz.
VERY INTERESTING! I JUST WANT TO ADD THAT I HATE PEOPLE THAT USE CAPS CONTINUOUSLY AND USE THE F BOMB EVERY OTHER WORD.
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I jst discovered your blog.You are totallyyy amazing,haven’t laughed like this in a long while.I’m bookmarking this site now 🙂
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I just came across this now and didn’t copy it honest!