Best shows at the 2007 Melbourne International Comedy Festival

While nominating anything as the “best” is subjective by nature, and therefore horribly inaccurate, here are my recommendations for this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival.  While I’m in disclaimer mode, I’ll add another point: it’s obvious that I can’t know about all of the hundreds of shows in the festival so if any diamond in the rough feels unfairly slighted by being left off my “best of” feel free to contact me and try and convince me why you are best in show. 

Also, the big names don’t need my endorsement (their shows are probably sold out anyway) so I’m mentioning acts more in the “up and coming mode”.  Mind you, if anyone famous sent me free tickets I’d plug their show.  I’m a shameless whore.

Danny McGinlay – Star Spangled Bender

Previously featured on this blog (click on the “Melbourne Comedy Festival” tab at the top of this page to see the videos), Danny is premiering his new show at this year’s festival.  Armed with his copy of “U.S. History for Dummies” and his own experiences travelling the USA, Danny explores 500 years of history in an attempt to answer such unanswerable questions as “how does that same country that votes for George W Bush give us the Simpsons?”  Go along and try to stump him – he’s not just funny, he’s encyclopaedic. (at the Stork Hotel in 504 Elizabeth St, Melbourne)

Dave Bushell – Dirt, War… & why I don’t eat the fishies

This man breathes history.  In his new show, Dave outs members of his own family as actual Nazis, implicates himself in Princess Diana’s death and admits he probably has mad cow disease.  Dave was nominated for Best Newcomer in the 2006 Festival and his show at last years Fringe Festival was also a huge success.  Check him out in the videos section as well. (at Forty Five Downstairs, 45 Flinders Lane, Melbourne)

Dave Thornton – Euromission

I had intended to get some video features from Dave as well but never got around to it.  I did however check out his show in last year’s festival and he was bloody hilarious.  His show this year is based on his European odyssey where he visited every country that had won the Eurovision Song Contest title.  How could he possibly fail?  (at Trades Hall, 54 Victoria St, Carlton South)

Miss Rochelle’s School for Very Naughty Girls

OK, the title says it all.  If that doesn’t hook you in, I don’t know what will.  Seriously, go check out the video with Benn Harrison under the “Melbourne Comedy Festival” tab – Miss Rochelle is a force to be reckoned with.  An improvised show (and isn’t it always fun to watch performers risking life and limb by improvising?) with a new mystery every night this is definitely a one of a kind show.  And it promises lots of hot hockey action! (at Trades Hall, 54 Victoria St, Carlton South)

Richard McKenzie – In Mint Condition

I’ve got a soft spot for someone who builds their show around all the things that make up nerd life.  Richard explores comics, movies, role-playing, online worlds and more.  So put on your favourite Star Wars tee, grab your 20 sided die and maybe even get a taste of Richard’s humour first by checking out the videos previously featured on this blog. (at the Portland Hotel, 115 Russel St, Melbourne)

Sammy J – Cyclone

I haven’t featured any videos with Sammy on this blog although I did blog about his show during last year’s festival.  My girlfriend and I decided to check out his show after bumping into him handing out flyers on the street (we decided to reward his hard work) and we weren’t disappointed.  Sammy won “Best Newcomer” last year so we weren’t the only ones who thought he was funny.  Cyclones don’t hit Melbourne very often so this is a special event. (at Melbourne Town Hall, cnr Swanston & Collins Streets)

Tommy Dassalo – The Third Guy

Everybody remembers that Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon and most people know that Buzz Aldrin was second but who remembers the third guy on that mission?  Tommy brings history’s forgotten faces to life and furthers his own quest to avoid being a forgotten third guy himself in his new show.  Tommy is widely touted to be huge one day so see him now (actually, right now – go look at the videos on the feature page) while he’s still medium sized.  (at Melbourne Town Hall, cnr Swanston & Collins Streets)

So that’s my recommendations for now.  With all the chaos of moving house I probably won’t get to see as many shows as I’d like but if I hear of any more gems I’ll let you know.

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Melbourne Comedy Festival preview – Dave Bushell in “Dirt, War…& Why I Don’t Eat The Fishies”

For your viewing pleasure I give you another interview with a very funny person. In this video I chat with Dave Bushell who is performing his one-man show “Dirt, War… and Why I Don’t Eat The Fishes” at this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival. It’s a wide ranging conversation that includes Dave’s admission of his personal responsibility for the death of Princess Di and our plan for how to deal with a police siege.

For show details and to find out Dave’s favourite colour, check out his MySpace:

http://www.myspace.com/dave_bushell

Melbourne Comedy Festival preview – Danny McGinlay in “Star Spangled Bender”

Danny McGinlay and I have a wide-ranging chat that covers a range of topics – not least the show he’s performing at this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival “Star Spangled Bender”.  Danny has decided to pick fights with Americans by saying he’s smarter than them. Good luck with that Danny!

Feel free to take on Danny at his MySpace:

http://www.myspace.com/dannymcginlay

Melbourne Comedy Festival preview – a chat with Richard McKenzie

Here’s another of my fireside chats (sans fire) with one of the stars of the Melbourne Comedy Festival.  Richard McKenzie is presenting his show “Mint Condition” and it’s a celebration of all things nerdly – Richards humble attempt to explain to the uninitiated why World of Warcraft” is more important than they think.  Add to that he’s the only person I’ve met who’s received death threats from 14 year old Insane Clown Posse fans and you’re on a winner.

Also, he said my mask reminded him of fat 45 year old men dressing up as Sailor Moon and you’ve gotta love that.

Find out more about show times for Mint Condition on Richard’s MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/richardmckenzie

Melbourne Comedy Festival preview – Tommy Dassalo in “The Third Guy”

I had some sit down talks with a few of the performers doing shows at this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival.  I was going to call them fireside chats because that sounded rather cosy but I did the interview in my friend Adrian’s shed and he wouldn’t let me set his shed on fire.  He’s a bastard.

So this chat is with Tommy Dassalo who is performing his show “The Third Guy” both in Adelaide and at the Melbourne Comedy Festival.  Despite the lies he tells in this interview he is actually performing although his show is more about history’s forgotten people.  You know the name of the first guy on the moon (Armstrong) and you probably know the name of the second guy on the moon (Aldrin) but who remembers the third guy?

Find out show details and more about Tommy at his MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/dassalo

Melbourne International Comedy Festival feature – Miss Rochelle’s School for VERY Naughty Schoolgirls

Here’s one that’s both informative for people looking for a good show at the Melbourne Comedy Festival and somewhat rewarding for the porn hounds who keep stumbling upon my blog.  I have the distinct pleasure to present to you Miss Rochelle.  Miss Rochelle is the headmistress and chief disciplinarian at McQueen Academy where very naughty young girls receive some VERY strict discpline.

You’ll also meet the lovely Benne Harrison, part of the impro comedy group “The Crew” who will be presenting Miss Rochelle’s School for Very Naughty Schoolgirls at this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

So if you want to know what is taught in schoolgirl Sexology classes, now you know where to go.  You can find more details at Benne’s MySpace: http://myspace.com/83745475

Stars of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival – Danny McGinlay

Another special comedy performance for you – this time from Danny McGinlay.

Danny has a pile of performances coming up including his show in the Melbourne Comedy Festival – “Star Spangled Bender”. For details see his MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/dannymcginlay

Stars of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival – Richard McKenzie

Here’s another taste of the comedic hilarity that can be had at this year’s Melbourne Comedy Festival – a special performance from Richard McKenzie.  Quite a few people who have seen this video think Richard and I are so similar we must be related (we aren’t) and/or all angry Australians sound the same (possibly true).  Judge for yourself:

Richard’s geek tribute show “Mint Condition” can be seen at this years festival and he’s appearing at the Guildford Blues & Roots Explosion. Check his MySpace for details: http://www.myspace.com/richardmckenzie

Stars of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival – Dave Bushell

Another of the stars of the 2007 Melbourne International Comedy Festival performing live for you: presenting Dave Bushell!

I realise Dave’s bit contains a lot of Australian-centric references so I included pictures of the people he’s talking about for context.  I hope that helps!

I’m still a respected foreskin blog. Plus I have a sexy ass.

I had pretty much decided what I was going to blog about today (broadly, it was Googlejuice) but there was not a lot of anger in my thoughts.  Then, right on cue, some utter dickweed happens along and leaves an astonishingly ignorant comment while masquerading as the voice of reason, objectivity and intelligence.  Just the sort of bullshit hypocrisy to get my blood boiling.

The doofus in question was compelled to take me to task over a post from May last year: “Not without my foreskin“.  Nothing inherently wrong with taking me to task – it clearly should happen more often.  It’s just that this dick (pun intended) didn’t merely miss the mark, he couldn’t hit the mark with a laser guided missile.  It starts with his primary problem of being seemingly unable to understand that IT’S A FUCKING JOKE!  It then continues with him sanctimoniously taking the moral high ground (a sure-fire way to piss me off), mixing in stupid new-age crap (ditto) and trying to connect completely unrelated issues.

My first point to this dickhead would be: Don’t try to equivocate on the validity of anger with someone who bases his whole persona on the expression of anger.  No fucking headway to be made there.  Second, trying to equate female genital mutilation with male circumcision is both inaccurate and offensive.  Female genital mutilation (removal of the clitoris), when it is practiced, is specifically about the idea of repressing sexuality.  Male circumcision has no such associated intent (not since Dr Kellogg, anyway).  And stating that it was common for American doctors to perform female genital mutilation (EVER, let alone “not so many years ago”) is a complete fucking lie.

In short, a dickhead made a stupid comment.  But this fits in with my original idea for a blog post in that the reason said dickhead found me was my Googlejuice.  Google still tends to rank me as one of the top two foreskin blogs.  I could retire tomorrow and be proud of that accomplishment. 

Another unexpected (to me) statistic is that I’m now getting hundreds of search engine referrals a day for porn related terms.  This is because of my utterly gratuitous use of sexual terms in post topics, notably: anal sex, virginity and “sexy ass”.  Since posting that joke video of my sexy ass on YouTube I have been showing up on the first page of search results for the rather broad term “sexy ass” (even without putting quotes around the words).

So there you go.  According to Google I have one of the sexiest asses in the world.  And we all know Google is never wrong.

Occasionally, I use this great power for good rather than evil.  True, this is rare but I do it every now and then.  One instance of this is the series of posts I’m doing on the 2007 Melbourne International Comedy Festival.  I was surprised to notice that I was showing up on the first page of results for “Melbourne Comedy Festival” on the strength of some posts I wrote about last year’s festival.  I knew my friend Adrian Calear was directing some shows in this year’s festival so I thought I’d write about them and see how far I could push the Googlejuice.  I’m doing this for three reasons:

1. I think the material will be entertaining for readers
2. Helping a brother out.  If the foolishness that is my blog can help out a friend and some up-and-coming talent then that’s a good thing.
3. I want to see how much I can improve my search engine ranking when I try.

“Melbourne Comedy Festival” seems like valuable keywords to me given that the festival is a commercial venture.  It’s easy to get high search engine rankings for obscure terms like “moroccan chocolate” but when it’s for terms that are actually valuable to people the fight gets a bit tougher.  This could be a pivotal case study in my quest to actually make money from blogging.  If I can feature prominently when people search for information on a major international festival that’s gotta be worth something.

Plus, if WordPress ever allow AdSense then I’ll make a fortune from porn referrals.