Tag Archives: australia

Hurting the delicate feelings of nazis and racists

A lot of people are upset that notorious racist Pauline Hanson has won a senate seat in the recent Australian election (and some additional members of her “team” might win seats too). For those who haven’t heard of her, she’s an ignorant fool who has tried to push her vile bigotry in Australian politics with varying degrees of success for the last 20 or so years.


She’s also one of those cute bigots who have an obsession with saying they aren’t racist (but famously too stupid to know what “xenophobic” means) even though their actual words explicitly target minorities all the time. Originally it was Asians, now it’s Muslims. So she’s not just a vile racist, she’s a gutless equivocating coward who thinks “I’m not racist” is a magic incantation. Like every one of her worthless garbage supporters.

While the existence and periodic success of people like Hanson does make me angry, I’ll tell you want makes me really angry: the ridiculous idea being floated repeatedly in the media that we should be “nice” to these people. That we should “understand” them instead of ridiculing them.

How about FUCK NO!

To be clear, I will happily talk to individuals who have been taken in by this hateful rhetoric in the hope that when some objective facts are presented to them, they can be brought around. But the leaders of these movements who promote outright fascism need to be hit hard and repeatedly. And to anyone who wants to write of “fascism” as hyperbole, Hanson explicitly wants to use the power of the government to enforce her belief that only religions she approves of should be allowed and only clothing she approves can be worn. Pretty much the dictionary definition of fascism.

I’m sure these bleating voices in the media will bring out historical examples of when being nice to fascists have worked in the past because that sure isn’t any history I’m aware of. Unless I’m wrong and World War 2 was a mistake and all everyone had to do was “understand” Hitler and everything would have been OK.

It’s also grating that Hanson blends her disgusting racism with incredible stupidity. She thinks that vaccines not only cause autism (completely disproved) but that they also cause cancer (utterly stupid). She’s also a climate change denier and one of her key advisors thinks schoolkids should be taught to reject the science that proves climate change. She is an utter menace and the idea of treating her with any dignity is fucking offensive.

Beyond Hanson, we’ve had an increasing number of rallies from overtly racist group run by people with explicit Nazi sympathies. These rallies are almost always met by counter rallies of larger groups standing up to their fuckery. To me it seems a no-brainer to counter-protest these scumbags but there is a growing chorus (and not only from conservative voices) that if you come into conflict with self-professed Nazis you’re somehow as bad as them.


To be honest, I think a lot of guys in antifa are there just because they like hitting people and it’s nice to have an ideological shield to justify your predilection for going the biff. But really, when did hitting Nazis become a negative thing? And spare me tripe like “you’re playing into their narrative where they’re the victim”. These pieces of shit get all the validation they need from people like Hanson being given a public platform.

I’ve seen repeated references to “anti-nazi thugs” in media reports and I think it’s worth letting that sink in for a while. That’s the modern media landscape – people engaged in fighting Nazis are thugs. The idea that you’re at the same level as a nazi because you’re aggressively responding to bigots who are actively advocating for the violent suppression and/or expulsion of anyone they don’t like is staggering. History does not have any examples of fascists quietly going home after being allowed to have their rallies unchallenged because they were satisfied their voices had been heard.


Every time hate is allowed to go unchallenged it moves further into the mainstream. How do you think Donald Trump has done so well? He isn’t some inexplicable mutation of the Republican Party, he’s the natural progression of the hate and fear filled rhetoric they’ve been pushing for years. The rise of demagogues around the world has a clear message – when extremism goes unopposed it grows.

So to those tut-tutting from a comfortable distance and saying Hanson and her ilk should be listened to and not mocked, I say hell to the fuck no!



Filed under Politics

Straya Day tribute to Pauline Hanson

My special friend Daz, the most ‘Strayan bloke I know, Made a special video to pay tribute to Pauline Hanson’s contribution to Straya Day!

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Filed under Politics

Why is the Australian film industry so shit?

If you are at all interested in Australian film the most common question you will hear asked is some variant of “what the fuck is wrong?” The overwhelming majority of Australian films made fail miserably, both commercially and critically. Australian audiences simply don’t want to see Australian films very often. And while there are some great films that are undeservedly ignored, for the most part Australian audiences are making the right choices.

Millions of taxpayer dollars are flushed down the toilet that is the Australian film industry every year for very little return. The situation is so dire, when there’s an Australian film that actually succeeds, it’s like a bolt out of the blue. Russell Crowe’s “The Water Diviner” (it’s his directorial debut and he’s the star) became the highest grossing Australian film of 2014 and it wasn’t released until Boxing Day. Let that sink in – Rusty blew away the competition in six days. By a HUGE margin.


YES! I found a way to make a successful Australian film!

And the most disturbing thing is that the huge secret of his success is he made a film that was enjoyable for the audience. A lot of Australian films are very well made technically but don’t deliver a satisfying experience to audiences. Australian film crews and production teams are among the best in the world but the people who make decisions about what films get made and how they are made make a lot of really shit decisions. The result is talented people make films nobody wants to see.

As an example, I recently saw a slightly older Australian film (from 2007) – “Noise”. I’d been wanting to watch this for ages because it’s about a character with tinnitus. I’m not joking, I suffer from severe tinnitus and the idea of a tinnitus hero appealed to me.

Without giving away too much, the film starts with all the passengers on a train carriage being murdered. There’s one witness who for some reason is spared by the killer. Our protagonist with the ringing in his ears (played by Brendan Cowell – his first lead role and he’s great) is a bit of a fuck up and he has to spend his days in a caravan/mobile police station liaising with the public. He ends up becoming more central to the murder investigation than he would have imagined, including spending some time with the witness. He also maybe uncovers an important clue through his dealings with an “interesting” local.

It’s a beautifully made film, it looks great, sounds great (the simulations of tinnitus are very accurate – horrifyingly so for me), the performances are great and I was really engaged with the plot and characters. So by the end of the film, there are four big questions: what (if anything) does the clue reveal, who is the killer, what will happen to the witness and what will happen to our hero?

And absolutely NONE of these are resolved. None. Nada. Nothing. Fuck all. I shit you not. it just fucking ends with no resolution. You know why this film failed? Because nobody is going to recommend it to others. Nobody is going to say to their friends “You should go and see this film because i really enjoyed it RIGHT UP TO THE POINT IT TOOK A MASSIVE SHIT RIGHT IN MY OPEN MOUTH!”

Seriously, they could have resolved ALL of this with about 5 extra minutes of film. I’m not exaggerating. They were so close to a satisfying ending when the film just stopped. Because fuck the audience, the film makers are artists!

Or some equally vapid shit.


Help! I’m scared of an audience that wants a satisfying film experience.


Filed under Movies

I love it when politicians self-destruct

Everyone knows politics is a dirty business. But the dirtiest business is usually kept behind closed doors so politicians can continue with the public lie that they are deeply virtuous and not subject to the same failings as you and I. So I really love it when the facade collapses and politicians are shown to be as two-face, disloyal and spiteful as anyone.

We’re getting a real sideshow in Australia this week, specifically in the state of Victoria where I reside. The conservative party (known as the Liberal Party, which I know is confusing to Americans) has been in opposition for ages here and I think they’re starting to crack under the pressure. Too long in opposition makes political types crazy.

The current Liberal leader (they’ve churned through a few), Ted Baillieu, is seen as too much of a lefty by the staunchly conservative wing of his own party. He’s even derided as “Red Ted” (yes, the Red Menace is alive and well for some). So some party members started up an anonymous blog dedicated to attacking him and undermining his leadership to the point he would be replaced.

All well and good. I fully support anonymous blogging. If you don’t like your parliamentary leader, go to town white-anting him. But here’s what you don’t do. You don’t run the blog from your work PC that has a fixed IP address. Guess what these morons did?

Yes, they wrote their attacks on their boss while at work. Work, in this case, was the state headquarters for the Liberal Party. As the saying goes, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. These clowns were net-savvy enough to start up an anonymous blog but too fucking stupid to know how easy it was to trace them if they ran the blog from work.

But sacking the two blamed for writing the blog was jut the start of the problems for the Liberal Party. The boil of discontent had been lanced and now the icky pus of revenge was spraying everywhere. The sacked opponents of the leader had some dirt on one of his supporters so they let fly with some payback.

One of the leader’s supporter had called another party member a “greedy f—ing jew” in an email (I’m not being coy, the email actually said “f—ing” not fucking). Of course, once they made that public she had to resign. This article covers in loving detail how fucked up the Victorian Liberal party actually is. The stuff they say about their own party is astonishing. I expect politicians to say things like that about their opponents but about their own “team”?

My guess is the bloodletting isn’t over yet. I for one can’t wait for the next round of payback and counter-payback. I’m a big fan of politics as bloodsport.


Filed under Politics

Kangaroo golf hazards in Australia

Every now and then I like to provide evidence that I’m a frustrated nature documentarian.  If that’s the correct word.  Anyway, living in a country with such diverse wildlife, there are plenty of opportunities for making nature videos.  This one probably looks like a set-up but it’s absolutely legitimate.
On a golf course just off the Great Ocean Road south of Melbourne there’s a golf course with a rather unique hazard on the fairways…
The tourism board should be paying me money for this stuff.


Filed under Video Blogging

Australia Day

I had a really lazy Australia Day weekend.  The most active thing I did was lots of barbecuing, like a good little Aussie.  So here’s some cooking tips from me along with some general musings on the day:

And just in case any international readers are wondering what Australia Day marks, here’s an explanation video I made last year:

And one I made that caused redneck bogans to get worked up for some reason.  This also features the first appearance of the Aussie burgers:

Happy Australia Day!


Filed under Video Blogging

Blazing heat and flies – it must be summer in Australia

So after months of planning, it’s now less than two weeks to go until the As One gathering for YouTube users here in Melbourne.  And right on cue Melbourne has delivered a reminder that it might be a hot day.  We’re in the middle of a three day stretch of mid to high 30s temperature-wise (that Celsius! 90-100 Fahrenheit for those not good at conversion).

I thought it was my duty to provide a reminder to those planning on attending to take our warnings about the sun seriously.  And while I was doing a location shoot it became obvious what else I had to warn people about: the fucking flies!  Federation Square is right next to the Yarra river where the bastard things are probably breeding.  I didn’t have repellent and they wouldn’t let up swarming all over me.

Although I didn’t catch it on camera I actually inhaled one of the fucking things!  I HATE it when that happens!  I made quite a scene, doubled over, hacking and coughing, trying to get a fucking fly out of my throat.  The little shit was actually still alive when I spat it out!

Mind you, today’s temperature is no indicator of what it will be like on December 1st.  Or even tomorrow for that matter.  Melbourne is notorious for sudden weather changes.  For fans of Kiwi band Crowded House, their song “Four Seasons in One Day” is about Melbourne.  The gathering day could be stormy, just as hot as today, even hotter or pleasant and mild.  Or some combination of all of those.

People think the talk of rapid changes to the weather here is exaggerated here but it isn’t.  The record for weirdest day I have experienced here was summer last year.  It was really hot, more than 38 Celsius (close enough to 100 Fahrenheit) when a storm front moved in late in the afternoon.  This would normally cool things down a bit but the temperature dropped 15 degrees Fahrenheit in an hour.  The maximum the next day was 20 degrees lower than the maximum on this day.

So yeah, Melbourne is not a city that rewards you for planning an outdoor event a long time in advance.  If there’s torrential rain on the day of the gathering the crowd will probably punch me out.


Filed under Video Blogging, YouTube

Crushing hoons

Hoon is a fun word.  I don’t know if it used anywhere else in the world but in Australia it’s used to describe hooligans.  Trouble-makers.  Loud mouths.  Idiots.  It’s often used specifically to describe morons who drive like they’re trying to over-compensate for their tiny penises and get involved in illegal street racing.

Because going after these dorks is a sure-fire vote winner (“law and order” never goes out of style) politicians are always proposing new laws to punish these miscreants.  Each new edict tends to get promoted as an “anti-hoon” law which has a nice ring to it.

In the news at the moment is a proposal by the NSW government to actually crush the cars of hoons convicted of illegal street racing.  I know there are similar laws around the world but I like the twist they’re adding to this one.  They aren’t simply crushing the cars into cubes.  They’re actually using them for crash tests.  And the bit I really like is that they’re planning to video the crushing and put the videos online.

That’s a good start but I have an idea for taking it one step further…

Another possible variant is to strap the worst of these morons into their stupid penis compensators and use them as crash test dummies.  It would be the first time in their lives that most of them have been useful.


Filed under Driving, Video Blogging

I am the new god of YouTube

Well, maybe not. But at least the featured one of my videos on the new YouTube Australia page. And my scary visage has been prominently featured on the global YouTube page for a couple of days now.

A little while ago, myself and a few other Australian YouTubers were asked to do a promotional video for the launch of YouTube Australia. This was what the “party” on Tuesday was about – it was considerably more a media launch than a party but I met a few cool people anyway so that’s OK. The individual videos were spliced together into a promotional video which was featured on the various YouTube home pages.

And the thumbnail that everybody sees is a closeup of me. Which should be more than enough to put anyone off Australia. They even used my tag line in the video description. YouTube Oz, people!

The funny thing is I think they fucked up the editing. They did a pretty logo that I think was meant to be the thumbnail but they timed it wrong and ended up with me instead. More proof that I’m god’s chosen one. Another funny thing is the comments. A fascinating collection of stupidity and self-loathing. If you want to lose all faith in humanity follow this link to read them.

The main thing is I had fun. I kept my camera switched off when drunk but here’s some stuff I shot while sober:

I’m almost recovered from the trip and the late nights now. Back to the angry.

Oh, for a blast from the past, this is the video they featured:

It’s rapidly moving up to become my most viewed video. I guess being featured will do that. This isn’t my best video but I like it – and at least I said “fuck” in it.

Some people might wonder why I disabled comments for this video as I usually engage with morons in comments to show them up. Well, it’s because the sort of fuckwits who were making comments were beyond stupid. I’ve always found the reaction of obsessed cubers funny and I always left the negative comments up but seriously, the commenters after being featured were fuckwits. Fuck all of you pathetic worthless negative wankers.


Filed under Video Blogging, YouTube