Tag Archives: Politics

Christopher Pyne is a LIAR!

Christopher Pyne is a liar. That isn’t saying very much – he’s a politician. Everyone lies at some point, politicians more than most. I’ve also made no secret of the fact that Pyne is probably my least favourite Australian politician so it’s hardly surprising I’d single him out. 

Think about that for a moment. With my regularly expressed contempt for politicians he’s the bottom of the pile. That takes some doing. Admittedly it’s very crowded at the bottom of the pile and there’s a lot of close runners up for the worst of the worst but for me, Pyne is right down there at the very bottom.

The reason I feel compelled to call him out as a liar is a very specific thing he said to the media recently. After the clusterfuck that was the ALP’s destructive wrangling about who should be party leader was resolved**, Pyne said that he was still receiving text messages from Labor MPs who had a definite plan to replace PM Gillard with challenger Rudd.

This is a complete fucking lie.

Just on the face of it, it’s utterly ridiculous. Dissident Labor MPs messaging an opposition front bencher and telling him their plans? Really? I call bullshit. I know the media has gotten into the habit of uncritically swallowing and regurgitating LNP lies for years now but this is too fucking far. It’s worse than if it was only another one of their lies, it’s insultingly stupid.

Pyne’s statement to the ABC “I’m still getting text messages from supporters of his in the caucus telling me that they plan to remove Julia Gillard in 71 days (June 3),” is a straight out lie. He should be made to publicly admit the lie and apologise.

Here’s an interesting thing: what I’ve just written is actionable under Australian defamation law. Unless it’s true. There’s no such thing as “freedom of speech” under law in Australia. If I have falsely accused Pyne of lying it would be quite simple for him to sue me and win in an Australian court.

But he won’t. Because I’m not defaming him. I’m telling the truth.

I will admit to being a little surprised that he’d spout such an easily provable lie. Saying he had text messages was a big mistake because these are traceable. Even if both he and the sender deleted the messages the carrier would still have a record of them. And that would have to be presented in court if he wanted to sue me.

So despite the fact that Australia has some pretty fucked up defamation laws, I’m not worried about calling Christopher Pyne a liar. Because it isn’t defamation. It’s the simple truth.

Lets be clear: he said multiple Labor MPs have texted him with definite plans to topple Gillard in a fixed timeframe. If he can’t provide evidence to back up those specific claims, he’s a liar. “Sources” who claim they know what’s going on isn’t good enough, he said it was actual Labor MPs. A single Labor MP isn’t good enough, he said it was more than one. And whispers in his ear aren’t good enough, he said it was text messages which, as I pointed out, can be recovered even if both sender and recipient have deleted them.

So how about it media? Will somebody please put this pathetic liar on the spot and force him to admit to his lies? Or are we going to have to continue to put up with this blatant unchecked bullshit?

Don’t worry, I know the answer.

**A little aside to LNP supporters: None of this is intended to suggest that the repeated attempts at self-destruction by Labor are anything but pathetic and frankly embarrassing. They will almost certainly pay by being utterly crushed at the next Federal election. But that doesn’t change the fact that Pyne is a fucking liar.

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Filed under General Angriness

George Bush – president for life


Anyone familiar with my videos will know I’m usually quick to dismiss conspiracy theories as stupid paranoia so you may need some explanation for this video.  The dialogue comes from the web site of a group called “Family Security Matters”.  They’re a bunch of right wing nutbags who apparently think the US should nuke anyone who disagrees with them and that George Bush should declare martial law to make himself President for life and ultimately Emperor of the world.  Oh, and they have direct links with Dick Cheney.

When their little piece of freakazoid propaganda got wide circulation they were apparently surprised to learn that the majority of the population thought they were fucking nuts.  They took the article down after seeing the response but not before a number of websites copied the information.

And if you still think this is paranoid, you might want to look into the presidential order that allows Bush to declare martial law and suspend the constitution.

Personally, I’m working on the assumption none of this crazy shit will come to pass and the coming elections will pass without incident.  But I wish they’d hurry up and happen so this nagging fear would go away.

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Why I love elitists

There are many things about the debasement of the political process in the USA and public discourse generally that make me angry.  Not least is the practice developed and refined by the Republicans (and eagerly embraced by the Democrats) that the constant repetition of a lie makes it true.  This manifests in many ways, from Bush making a speech about the economy (which he has fucking destroyed) in front of a backdrop repeating the phrase “Economy showing strong growth” to my personal favourite, deriding a candidate as “elitist”.

The “elitist” one pisses me off the most for a few reasons.  Firstly, in what sort of twisted, fucked-up Idiocracy style universe do you not want the elite running things?  Why is having the world run by unintelligent “average folks” a good fucking thing?  Excuse me, but given the choice between some spoiled, stupid motherfuckers like Bush and/or McCain and eloquent, well read individuals like Obama or Clinton I’ll take the smart ones thank you very much.

My plea to leaders around the world: please be elitist.  Do us all a favour and don’t pander to the lowest common denominator.  There’s a reason stupid people don’t often run things.  They’re fucking stupid.  And they’re almost never worth listening to.  Elitism all the way!

The second reason this line pisses me off is because it’s usually spouted by the most extreme elitists around.  Seriously, I don’t need multi-millionaires enlightening me as to who is elitist and who has the common touch.  Whether it’s mega-wealthy politicians who have led a life of privelege or or gasbag talking head media pricks with multi-million dollar contracts, these fucking hypocrites are the least qualified people on the fucking planet when it comes to knowing the common touch.

It’s enough to make a body angry.

I hadn’t intended to get this angry when I started making the video so i guess this topic must have been getting to me more than I realised.

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Filed under Politics, Video Blogging

I love it when politicians self-destruct

Everyone knows politics is a dirty business. But the dirtiest business is usually kept behind closed doors so politicians can continue with the public lie that they are deeply virtuous and not subject to the same failings as you and I. So I really love it when the facade collapses and politicians are shown to be as two-face, disloyal and spiteful as anyone.

We’re getting a real sideshow in Australia this week, specifically in the state of Victoria where I reside. The conservative party (known as the Liberal Party, which I know is confusing to Americans) has been in opposition for ages here and I think they’re starting to crack under the pressure. Too long in opposition makes political types crazy.

The current Liberal leader (they’ve churned through a few), Ted Baillieu, is seen as too much of a lefty by the staunchly conservative wing of his own party. He’s even derided as “Red Ted” (yes, the Red Menace is alive and well for some). So some party members started up an anonymous blog dedicated to attacking him and undermining his leadership to the point he would be replaced.

All well and good. I fully support anonymous blogging. If you don’t like your parliamentary leader, go to town white-anting him. But here’s what you don’t do. You don’t run the blog from your work PC that has a fixed IP address. Guess what these morons did?

Yes, they wrote their attacks on their boss while at work. Work, in this case, was the state headquarters for the Liberal Party. As the saying goes, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. These clowns were net-savvy enough to start up an anonymous blog but too fucking stupid to know how easy it was to trace them if they ran the blog from work.

But sacking the two blamed for writing the blog was jut the start of the problems for the Liberal Party. The boil of discontent had been lanced and now the icky pus of revenge was spraying everywhere. The sacked opponents of the leader had some dirt on one of his supporters so they let fly with some payback.

One of the leader’s supporter had called another party member a “greedy f—ing jew” in an email (I’m not being coy, the email actually said “f—ing” not fucking). Of course, once they made that public she had to resign. This article covers in loving detail how fucked up the Victorian Liberal party actually is. The stuff they say about their own party is astonishing. I expect politicians to say things like that about their opponents but about their own “team”?

My guess is the bloodletting isn’t over yet. I for one can’t wait for the next round of payback and counter-payback. I’m a big fan of politics as bloodsport.

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Filed under Politics

Women don’t work hard enough

Gender issues can be difficult for men to talk about with women.  You could say it’s a minefield but only if you’re talking about a minefield that probably won’t kill you but stands a really good chance of setting off an explosion at the level of your balls that will almost certainly shred them.  As most men see some value in their balls, this is territory in which sensible men tread very carefully, if at all.
 
In Australia, studies have shown that on average, women earn about 15% less than men (which is to say, for every $1.00 a man earns, a woman will earn 85c).  There are a lot of things that contribute to this, not all of which involve an evil plot by men to steal from hard working women.  For a man to have a conversation with a woman about this is the equivalent of holding a grenade with the pin pulled.  Staying alive depends on being fast enough to get the pin back in before the inevitable explosion.
 
Of course, with some men the intention is to lob a whole bunch of hand grenades and then laugh at the carnage.  Somewhere between “You’re so right, I wish I was a woman so that I had more empathy for all that is good in the world – I am so ashamed at being part of the phallocentric patriarchy,” and “Shut up bitch and get me another beer,” there is some rational territory for discussion.  But it’s a brave man who enters there.
 
This week there was a panel discussion on the topic of gender-based pay inequity at the National Press Club in Australia.  Several prominent women including the federal Minister for the Status of Women were on the panel.  As was one man, a social researcher (whatever that is) from the University of Melbourne, Professor Mark Wooden.  I imagine the audience was heavily dominated by women as well.
 
(Side note: with a name like Wooden, do you think he’s a really boring speaker?)
 
So where would the professor sit?  Was he going to surrender his balls, focus on protecting them from shrapnel or swing them around in the breeze and see if there were any takers?  Judge for yourself.
 
The summary of Professor Wooden’s position is “women don’t work hard enough”.  He said high achievers in all walks of life put in long hours of work and many women simply weren’t willing to put in the same hours as men.  One report described the response as “gasps from the mostly female audience.”  I bet.  And there was probably the sound of sharpening knives as well.  Not to mention a bit of walnutting* from the Prof.
 
Another panellist, federal minister Tanya Plibersek, (unsurprisingly) disagreed.  She raised the extremely valid point that the notion of needing to work until all hours should be challenged.  I personally think it’s bullshit and refuse to do it.  Which probably explains the fact I’m not CEO of anything.  Along with the fact I never went to a private school.  And I refuse to suck the boss’ cock.  And the crack addiction.
 
For the record, I don’t think Professor Wooden is completely right.  But he isn’t completely wrong either.  Only a tiny minority of the overall workforce rise through the ranks of management.  If men are more prone to do stupid, life-destroying things to get there, is it any wonder they dominate the field?  I don’t think women (or any minority) are done any favours when they are given a benefit “just because they’re a woman”.  But anyone who says there aren’t situations where an equally or better qualified minority loses out to a white male whose sole advantage is being a white male is either deluding themselves or simply lying.
 
If he made his rather contentious statements just to stir up shit then he’s a bit of a dick.  But if his intention was to get people to face some unfortunate truths, then good on him.  Maybe the reason some women don’t get as far as some men is they just don’t want it enough.  I certainly know I don’t want to give up my free time just to get more money in the bank.
 
He did seem to get a bit silly in the discussion.  He was quoted as saying:
 
“The only way we can achieve this is if we have lots of role reversals, lots of men behaving like women and lots of women behaving like men.”
“I don’t think women in Australia want that, I don’t think that women anywhere in the world want that.”
 
I’ve never liked arguments that seem to be based on the idea that there’s only one way for men to act and one way for women to act.  And I’m not sure what qualifies Professor Wooden to say what women want.  Speaking from experience, if you have one woman in your life it’s hard enough to know what she’s thinking, no matter how much time you spend with her.  Speaking for all the women in the world is a little bit audacious.
 
But his “careful what you wish for” tone did remind me of my college days.  There was certainly a very strong feminist culture there, right down to a hardcore group who fit right in with the “all men are rapists” stereotype. 
 
A fellow alumnus, Sue Ann Post (self described as “Australia’s favourite six foot, lesbian, ex-Mormon, diabetic, comedian and writer”) described them in a recent performance as feminazis.  So there you go, Rush Limbaugh isn’t the only person who uses that term.
 
Mind you, at the other end of the spectrum was an appalling boofhead culture that dominated the social scene which was basically run by rugby players.  I enjoyed the company of most of the feminists but I fucking hated the rugby players.
 
Quite a few impressionable young women were cultivated into a reasonable approximation of man hating lesbians while they were there.  The trouble is, a lot of them realised after college that they actually wanted to be with a man and even have a family with a man.  And all that time spent man hating put them in a bad place.  Most men really don’t like being treated as if there’s something intrinsically wrong with them simply because they’re men.
 
And the ones who do knuckle under to this treatment are usually really bad in bed.
 
So ladies, when you look at inequality in pay rates and management positions, it’s well worth asking yourself: “Is that what I really want?”
 
*WALNUTTING: To understand this term, you need to know two things. (1) What men’s testicles look like and (2) The fact that, under certain circumstances, men’s testicles will retract and appear to shrink.  Men’s balls look a bit like walnuts.  Round and wrinkly.  When it is cold or when a man feels threatened his balls will retract.  Which makes them really look like walnuts.  Hence, I wouldn’t be surprised if Professor Wooden suffered some walnutting while making his speech to a group of women.

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Filed under Politics

An important message about the US presidential elections

Sometimes really strange ideas come into my head.  I’ve read so many stories about how the US electoral system has very little to do with actual democracy that it’s getting scary.  The system of delegates and the electoral college creates a situation where you can be forgiven for thinking that the way individual citizens vote is all but meaningless.

I’m not a fan of conspiracy theories but when a system is so deeply flawed it gets easier to believe some of the more outlandish claims that float around.  Which may be where the idea for this video originated.

I was planning to do something completely different but this idea got into my head and wouldn’t go away.  So, as I usually do when I get weird voices in my head, I let them out and this video was the result:

The biggest trouble I had with this video was my hair.  I wanted to have a “slick” look so I put about a bucket of “product” into my hair.  And my damn hair still wouldn’t stay flat!  The only real result of the mountain of crap I used was my hair feeling like crap until I washed it a few times.

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Anti-Muslim race baiting in the Australian elections

Well, the Australian federal elections are on Saturday and the incumbent Liberal government has been staring down the barrel of a crushing defeat for a while now.  I always feel compelled to point out to overseas readers that the Liberal party are the dominant conservative party in Australia (given the generally understood meaning of “liberal” in political terms).  Anyway, they’ve been trying every trick in the book but they’ve been unable to dent the popularity of the opposition Labor Leader, Kevin Rudd.

It seems desperation has set in and some really dirty tricks are coming out.  The seat of Lindsay is in outer western Sydney and could easily change hands from the Liberals (who currently hold it) to Labor.  So in desperation, the Liberal Campaign team decided to play to the lowest common denominator and inflame anti-Muslim sentiments.

They falsified and distributed a flyer that purported to come from a non-existent radical Muslim group.  The flyer proclaimed the group unswerving support for the Labor party including quite despicable (and untrue) references to Labor supporting forgiveness for the Bali bombers.  Here’s a link to a news story including a copy of the flyer.

To his credit, Liberal leader John Howard has unequivocally condemned the tactic.  This is in stark contrast to, say, the conduct of GW Bush when Republican operatives have used blatant lies to slander his opponents.  But this is still going to hurt him.  It just reeks of desperation and for a man who’s always staked his reputation on honesty… well, this doesn’t look very honest.

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Filed under Politics, Video Blogging

Give me liberty or give me… ?

Add to the long list of people who need to shut the fuck up: Donald Kerr, the principal deputy director of national intelligence in the US.  God knows what power that title actually gives him in what spook agency but his principal role seems to be letting the American people know they’re utterly fucked.

You know that freedom and liberty idea that so many Americans are so fond of?  I think it’s time to face facts and file that under “not so much”.  Most rational people expect their government to have all sorts of spy operations in place.  Most of us manage to sleep at night by convincing ourselves it’s for our protection and as we’re clearly not criminals or terrorists, nobody’s spying on us.

That tissue-thin layer of self-delusion tends to get torn apart pretty thoroughly when a government official actually comes out and says “Oh yeah, we’re totally spying on everyone.  All the time.”

In a speech he gave in October, Kerr said Americans shouldn’t be fighting to protect their anonymity  – they should be “changing their definition of privacy“.  You see, in this brave new world, privacy doesn’t actually mean privacy.  It means accepting the fact that the government is going to have full access to every tiny detail of your life any time they want.  It means being innocent and law abiding doesn’t mean “not under surveillance”.  But we should all take a deep breath and relax because you can trust the government not to do the wrong thing.

It isn’t as if it’s easy to find examples of the Bush administration unjustly smearing their opponents (even those within their own party).  Incidentally, a Google search for “Bush administration smear opponent” returns 579,000 results.  Nothing to worry about there.

In the good old days of the Cold War and the McCarthy era, a sizable proportion of people being spied on actually belonged to the Communist Party (or at least went to meetings hoping to score with those hot politically active chicks).  Not any more.  Ever had a phone call with someone outside the USA?  That’s all they need to spy on you now.

Actually, I should correct that last alarmist statement.  They won’t spy on you for a call where the other party is outside the US.  They’ll spy on you if they have a reasonable suspicion that one end of the conversation is outside the US.  And of course we’re talking about eminently reasonable people here.  What could possibly go wrong with allowing that sort of power without the usual checks and balances?

And this Kerr character is either frighteningly stupid or simply enjoys insulting the intelligence of everyone else.  One of his primary justifications for unlimited government intrusion into innocent people’s lives is the way some people use social networking sites like FaceBook and MySpace.  Yes, this is what passes for logic with these twisted freaks.  Some people give out personal information online and so everyone should give up all rights to privacy.

I keep wanting to avoid hyperbole and gratuitous references to rape but that’s what keeps popping into my head.  This sounds like the classic drunken moron’s defence for date rape.  “Hey, the bitch let me buy her dinner and all those drinks.  Then she came back to my place.  She knew what was coming next, you can’t expect me to listen when she says ‘NO’ after all that.”

But this prick really got me angry when he said “Protecting anonymity isn’t a fight that can be won… (stop struggling, bitch!)… Our job now is to engage in a productive debate.”  Oh yeah, that old chestnut.  Don’t get angry.  Just because the government is violently raping your basic rights and expecting you to say “thank you” afterwards.  Whatever you do, don’t get angry.  Be reasonable.

Do you know why Mr Angry exists?  Because it’s impossible for Mr Angry to not exist in today’s world.  Every piece of shit in every country in the world who wants to screw over other people is always quick to say anger is wrong.  You need to be reasonable.  You need to be productive when you respond.  You know what?

FUCK THAT SHIT!

Here’s the big secret they want to keep from you: It’s OK to be angry.  In fact, fuck that too.  It isn’t OK.  It’s the appropriate response.  It’s fucking required.  I’m more than reasonable when somebody presents a reasonable proposal.  When they’re unreasonable I’ll resist.  And when they want to lie, cheat, steal and destroy the basic rights of innocent people and tell me I’m not allowed to be angry in response?

I. Get. Fucking. FURIOUS!

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Filed under Politics, Video Blogging

Australian Federal Election – Arrogance and Lies

Consider this my application for a job with the Australian Labor Party. I love doing something this partisan because someone always blows a blood vessel because they can’t tolerate the idea that you’d take a position that contradicts theirs. It’ll be fun to see a few people humiliate themselves with idiotic comments.

For those who don’t know Australian politics, here’s the background to this video. The first one pictured is John Howard, current Australian Prime Minister. The second one is his deputy, Peter Costello. Howard has been PM for more than 10 years and he made a deal with his deputy to retire and hand over power. Then he broke that deal.

In their public spat, Howard was called a liar for not keeping his word and Costello was called arrogant for not waiting. The rest kind of wrote itself.

I did it in the stereotype election campaign ad style – slow zoom on photos with dramatic music. So what do you think – do I have a future as a political lobbyist?

And I LOVE the way the thumbnail came out.

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