Tag Archives: quokka

Quokkas are unfair to white men

There are a lot of problems in the world but thankfully, a men’s Rights Activist has alerted me to the worst problem of all: quokkas being unfair to straight white men. This is a quokka.
quokka
Do you see the way it smiles? That’s because it’s so glad it’s destroying the privilege of white men.
This came to light after Palmer United Party senator Jacqui Lambie suggested 3% of senate seats should be reserved for indigenous Australians so they can be assured of proportional representation in the lawmaking process. It turns out quokkas are behind this and I find the idea of these smug marsupials controlling our legislative bodies to be totally unacceptable.
A particularly insightful letter to the editor in a Murdoch paper pointed out if you followed this nefarious quokka plan to its logical conclusion you’d have to acknowledge that considering about half the population are women, about half the people representing the population should be women as well. That sounds all well and good but no quokka is going to tell me what to do.
quota
To quote from the letter… oh, wait. He meant quotas. Quotas are unfair. I got confused between quotas and quokkas. I thought he was concerned about oversized grinning rats but he is literally saying that if white men were only represented proportionally in public life rather than utterly dominating it and actively excluding anybody who isn’t white and male like they have for centuries that would be wrong. Hmmmmm.
My quokka argument makes more sense.
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Seat-sniffing quokka-fiddler

It seems that open season has been declared on the Australian conservative leader Troy Buswell. I made a video recently celebrated the fact that he had been outed for sniffing the seat of a female staffer (which he apparently thought was hilarious and/or sexy).
This guy is actually the leader of the conservate party in Western Australia. You know you’re in trouble when someone this pathetic is the best you’ve got.
It seems he’s now been written off to such an extent that the media were willing to bait him with completely unsubstaniated rumours. For a day or so the media kept asking him about rumoured indiscretions with a quokka which is a small Australian marsupial, indigenous to an island off Western Australia.
He gave some fairly exasperated replies which would have been fairly funny to see, considering how pathetic his non-denial denials of the chair sniffing incident were, right up to the point he was forced to admit to it. My personal favourite was when he denied having done anything to cause offence to a quokka. Phew! At least hasn’t been saying mean things about the quokka’s mum!
I was a little disappointed to learn that the rumours didn’t actually involve anything sexual (if he’d go chair sniffing, I’m sure he’s not above quokka fiddling). I was even more disappointed to learn they had been made up by a blogger as a joke earlier in the year.
Still, now they’ve started having a go at him I say they should really cut loose. It’s about time politics was fun.
“Mr Buswell, any truth to the rumour about you being caught sniffing bike seats in a convent?”
“Mr Buswell, what’s this I hear about you asking schoolboys to give you wedgies?”
“So Troy… There are reports that a labrador and a 44 gallon drum of baby oil were selivered to your office. Care to explain?”

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