I am such a putz.
Those who pay attention will know I intend to post a new piece to this blog every day for a year. So I went away this weekend leaving my faithful computer at home. No problem, I had a plan: I’d post on Saturday morning before I left and on Sunday night when I got back . Brilliant. Except I straight up forgot! I left on Saturday without posting. So I was desperately hoping that I could find somewhere that provided internet access when I got to the destination.
Now, in these modern times, pretty much all motels provide internet access. Unfortunately, it seems what they all provide is wireless internet access that you can get onto if you have your own laptop with a wireless modem. If you don’t have your own laptop, you’re pretty much fucked. I don’t have a laptop. I know, I know… join the 21st century Mr Angry, that isn’t very web 2.0 of you.
The only place I found that provided internet access and a computer to access it from was the most expensive place in town – double the price of anywhere else. And it was available for guests only. It seemed as though I was going to miss a daily posting for the first time in 8 months! Then I had a brainwave. I asked if I could inspect their internet facilities. The receptionist pointed me to their business centre and I went in and had a look.
The room was unsupervised. That was in my favour. The computer wasn’t locked. Another point in my favour. The internet access was live! I figured I had about sixty seconds before someone came in to check what I was doing. That’s why yesterday’s post was two lines long. I’d always wanted to wage guerrilla warfare against the forces of oppression. I struck, stealthy as a ninja and faded into the night.
I have to admit, I didn’t think it would be so hard to get internet access in what’s supposed to be a tourist destination. This place (Lakes Entrance) is quite a nice location but it’s a fucking hole. I mean, if you’re looking for entertainment keep driving. By 8.30 on a Saturday night everything is closed. 8 fucking 30 on a Saturday fucking night and it’s fucking summer in a so-called resort destination. Fucking yokels.
Anyway, I had a good time and even shot a video while I was there. My wonderful girlfriend indulged me and played along with my stupid joke. Actually, I think the only reason I got away with doing this is she didn’t realise that me saying “bow-chicka-bow-bow” was a joke about 70’s porn soundtracks.
Straight after making this video I went to clean the pool and then delivered a pizza with extra salami.