I don’t know if you’ve noticed but there’s a lot of chatter these days about the apocalypse. Many people are looking at trouble in the middle east thinking that we could be seeing the beginning of the end of days. Some people consider this with trepidation, scarily enough others can’t wait for Armageddon because in their mind it will be followed by the rapture. Even more scary, it’s hard to escape the feeling that the mood in the Whitehouse might be leaning towards “Yay, apocalypse! This rocks!”
Whether people are looking forward to judgement day or not, there’s a lot of conjecture around where to find definitive signs. I’ll tell you where conclusive evidence of impending Armageddon can be found:
In the supermarkets.
There are all sorts of things in supermarkets these days. Many useful, many bizarre. Before I tell you the definitive sign I saw, a little explanation. For those who have never heard of “bubble and squeak” this is a rather odd English term for what is essentially leftovers. The basic recipe is you mix up whatever bits of food you have left over with some egg and re-cook that to make another meal. The other day in the supermarket I saw…
Frozen bubble and squeak.
That’s right, no longer is it enough to provide frozen meals for people who don’t have the time to cook. Now we have frozen leftovers for people to lazy to eat a meal and save their own leftovers. I can’t think of a better indicator that society is doomed.
Any god that would allow the existence of frozen bubble and squeak has abandoned his people. The end of days is upon us.