The drive to work gave me a sore throat today. This was the natural result of the horn on my car not working (I think the fuse is gone). Add to that the fact that this morning was the worst drive to work in a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long fucking time. This resulted in a sore throat because the only way to express my frustration at the large number of fuckwits on the road was to scream at them.
And there were a shitload of fuckwits this morning. They came in every stripe and colour. It started simply with traffic being more congested than normal. An annoying state of affairs but one I can normally cope with. But then I had to cope with dickheads just springing out of side streets and swerving across multiple lanes of traffic every five minutes.
The nadir of this particular nightmare came at an intersection where I have actually witnessed a mildly serious accident (I even wrote a blog post about it). I was waiting at the lights to turn right (convert this to a left turn if you drive on the right hand side of the road). I got a green arrow to go so I started forward but then had to slam on the brakes because of the idiot who went through the red light on my left.
This fuckwit must have been sitting waiting for oncoming traffic so they could make their own right turn but then they sorta fell asleep. So they’ve noticed their light has gone red AND THEN DECIDED TO GO THROUGH THE FUCKING INTERSECTION ANYWAY. Everyone runs a red light occasionally but this idiot made their sin far worse by going from a standing start a full five seconds after their light went red, which made it several seconds after mine went green.
I’m actually pretty careful at light changes in case some dickhead runs a light but she didn’t decide to run the light until after I had actually started into the intersection. I saw her. She was stationary. Then I started around the corner. THEN she went right across the front of me. She’s fucking lucky I didn’t decide to run into her purely in the name of Darwinism. I would have t-boned her – straight into her door. Her stupidity created a situation where the risk of injury to me was pretty low and the risk of serious injury to her was pretty fucking high.
I fucking hate having to protect people from their own fucking stupidity. At least she seemed to realise (far too late) how fucking stupid she had been. The look on her face as she sailed past (BECAUSE I FUCKING BRAKED!) was a mix of horror and deep embarrassment. She clearly knew she was only in one piece because I wasn’t as fucking stupid as she was. For this reason I resisted the urge to haul her out of her car and punch some sense into her.
Plus, that would be a really mental thing to do.
Angry 365 Days a Year 
I’m mailing you a baseball bat so you won’t feel compelled to refrain in the future, and it will guarantee results.
This is also why you should never go driving on Sundays. One sunday we witnessed – as well as a couple of normal redlight runs, and someone doing a U Turn across a dual-carriageway – someone actually stopping at a green light, and waiting for it to become red before going.
Like what is the defence for that? Even if you’re totally ignorant of the traffic laws in the UK, what country anywhere in the world does green mean stop and red mean go? If you’re going to have suicidal tendencies, can you please find a way to get yourself killed which won’t injure other people (i.e. me.)
Reminds me of a program I watched on Tourettes, apparently it extends as far as having the urge to crash your car. Shouldn’t someone take your license away if you have a medical condition which makes you want to crash your car?
I would actually pay money to pass a driving test every year to lower the amount of cars on the road. Most of the “fuckwits” on the road can’t even talk and walk and yet they are driving a scaling fish with their feet and changing lanes. I like yelling out my window “you can’t multi-task!” to these idiots.
hoopedup.wordpress.com
gruntski: thanks mate, that will help
Massif: Your solutions are far too sensible for the majority of idiots on the road to agree with them
Mark: Yeah, unfortunately people seem to see driving as a right rather than a privelige.
Massif: Perhaps we have a epidemic of undiagnosed Tourettes?
I was once in that right-hand turn situation, as a passenger. Unfortunately, we were too far into the turn when this jerk decided that the red light didn’t apply to him. His skid marks started from *before* he reached the intersection. Claimed he was only doing 60.
No one was badly injured. Although he should have been, after we’d gotten out of the car…
Will: that sounds all to familiar. He sounds part of the green means go, orange means go fast and red means go really, really fast school of thought.