Did you ever notice how we all seem to have trigger words that can have a massive effect on our moods and responses? I’ve shared before how racists on YouTube set me off by phrasing their bullshit with some variation of “you have to agree that…” Well, no dickhead. I don’t have to agree with anything. Least of all the incoherent ramblings of an unintelligent, insecure, pathetic racist.
Just before going on holidays, I discovered another set of trigger words that will make me unleash my most vicious attacks upon the perpetrator. Namely, don’t say any variation of “no offense, but…” followed by something incredibly offensive unless you want to feel the full wrath of Mr Angry.
One of the last videos I made before going to NZ was a response to a featured video on YouTube – I didn’t post it here because there was really no context for it on this blog. The video I responded to was part of a series called “God Inc” that runs on the premise that Heaven is really run like an office with all the bureaucracy and petty jealousies that suggests. A bit of a depressing though really.
I did a response as some of my demonic characters because the idea popped into my head and it seemed to fit. The video has been viewed over 20,000 times since I posted it (average for me is a couple of hundred to a thousand views) so it was certainly a success for me. The thing is, it was a rush job (just before my holiday) and the standard is honestly pretty bodgy even by my rather low standards. And it got seen by thousands of dweebs who had never seen my stuff.
The first few comments were from my regulars who liked it but then the losers with nothing to offer the world but a fucked-up opinion started. As is my usual way, I responded to nearly all of the comments, partly to thank the positive, partly to rip on the negative and partly because lots of comments gets you noticed on YouTube. The more obnoxious the comment, the more obnoxious my reply.
The funny thing is, I couldn’t give a shit about these losers. The fact that they feel compelled to spit out negativity when nobody is being negative towards them says way more about their pathetic lives than any insult I could deliver. But I did save my worst bile for the one who said “No offense but this vid sucked.”
Why the fuck do people say that before they say something offensive? Are they that fucking stupid that they think they aren’t saying something offensive? Are they stupid enough to think saying “no offense” excuses the offense? Or are they so mind numbingly fucking stupid they don’t even know the meaning of the words “no offense”?
I decided this putz needed a lesson so I responded in kind with the most offensive thing I could think of:
“No offense, but your mother fucks truck drivers for 50c a throw.”
I suspect the irony of the response would be totally lost on him. For those who want to see just how angry I can get, the full list of comments can be seen here:
AngryAussie's Cocktail Bar 
Still haven’t gotten your ASS email, Mr Angry 😉
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i want to be an ASS!
hang on, that doesn’t sound right!
no offence, but your blog is ace – see and there wasn’t actually anything offensive said. ha ha – i get it!
sorry, bye x
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I am new to your site but so far it is awesome! The videos are great and the mask is genus. I am a fan. Thanks for the hard work.
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No offense but you’re just too sensitive.. you need to lighten up…
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Why you so angry, time of month?
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Hahahhahahahaha. Oh my gosh. That was so funny. My friends do that… as a joke. Like when they are playing some video game, they’re like ‘You suck. No offense.’ WTF? How is that not suppose to offend? Anyways, good article. Still laughing.
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Salamaat,
No offense, but I didn’t find that too funny
J/K, it was hilarious 🙂 as usual, hate those words too!
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Daniel: I’ll take care of it today
Fi: You haven’t looked far enough, I say plenty of offensive stuff 😉
stupidtom: Welcome! Glad you’re enjoying it – stick around, we have lots of fun here.
Michelle: nicely done, you almost had me. Irony is always appreciated.
Nikki: glad you liked it and I know it’s a widespread problem 🙂
Maliha: I know you’d never intentionally offend me 🙂
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No offense, but couldn’t you say that in a manner of speaking you’d have to agree that it goes without saying when looked at a certain way everyone is an asshole. Present company excluded, of course.
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Kyklops-no offense, but that’s simply not true!!!
I AM an asshole.
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I checked out the youtube comments – gee you must have had fun with them. What a crackup !!!
It’s amazing how they just kept coming back for more – especially that jimmy something or other dude (the expert video maker who thinks you transfer stuff to youtube via tape)
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Martin: Their comments betray how stupid they are.
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One thing that really pisses me off is the race card, and how often some people will use it in order to portray themselves as intelligent, open minded, morally superior human beings, even if they do not know the condemned person.
I do not know the rest of the quote in the first paragraph, or what the context was…you left us clueless as to why you called this person a “racist”, however its really getting old and boring. Let’s try something new like, “that stupid asinine anti-globalist ” or god damned know it all bloggers ! just for a breath of fresh air !
It really didn’t make you look good!
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You have no idea what you’re talking about. To help you out, the second sentence starts with “I’ve shared before…” Regular readers knew the context of this piece. If I gave detailed context every time I referred to previous posts, each post would be War and Peace.
I find it interesting how quickly you got defensive over issues of race. Almost makes it look like you’re hiding something, like your motivation.
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