Hoon is a fun word. I don’t know if it used anywhere else in the world but in Australia it’s used to describe hooligans. Trouble-makers. Loud mouths. Idiots. It’s often used specifically to describe morons who drive like they’re trying to over-compensate for their tiny penises and get involved in illegal street racing.
Because going after these dorks is a sure-fire vote winner (“law and order” never goes out of style) politicians are always proposing new laws to punish these miscreants. Each new edict tends to get promoted as an “anti-hoon” law which has a nice ring to it.
In the news at the moment is a proposal by the NSW government to actually crush the cars of hoons convicted of illegal street racing. I know there are similar laws around the world but I like the twist they’re adding to this one. They aren’t simply crushing the cars into cubes. They’re actually using them for crash tests. And the bit I really like is that they’re planning to video the crushing and put the videos online.
That’s a good start but I have an idea for taking it one step further…
Another possible variant is to strap the worst of these morons into their stupid penis compensators and use them as crash test dummies. It would be the first time in their lives that most of them have been useful.
5 responses to “Crushing hoons”
“As a little tear trickles down their chin”
That is one of the best ideas I’ve ever heard a government come up with to deal with street racing. This could go world wide just like American Idol.
Crushing Hoons Australia!
You could of course, add boobytraps to suburban streets which only trigger when people are exceeding the limit by a decent margin. (Don’t want to kill everyone, some people just aren’t paying attention to the speedo at the time, so they can – I don’t know – watch the road maybe?) Stick up loads of posters all over the country saying “suburban streets are deathtraps for racers” and then wait to see how many you can kill.
You could, I suppose, structure the traps to destroy their cars instead of killing them, but what fun would that be?
Now that’s creative. I can get on board with an idea like that. Very cool.. fuck the hoons! Now that’s a word I haven’t heard for a long time.. I think I’m going to use it all the time now.. he he.. hoons..
“Nuke The Entire Suburb”
Now that is cutting edge thinking 🙂
Mr. Angry for president of the World
I’m trying to think of something that we can do to all of the stupid teens in my neighborhood that cause so much mayhem with their cars. Perhaps making them drive golf carts around with signs that read “NOT READY FOR A BIG PERSON CAR” is in order. Or making them pay for their reconstructive surgery and physical therapy after I do something very terrible with their phone?